Tag: scripture

He is with You in the Fire

by krichards2012, posted in life

In Daniel chapter three, the story of Meshach, Shadrach, and Abed-Nego is told. I am sure you have read the story before (if not I urge you to), but essentially what happens is they are ordered to bend down and worship the image of King Nebuchadnezzar every time they hear the sound of the horn, flute, harp, lyre, or psaltery. What happens is they of course do not worship another god, and so they are ordered to be put into the furnace.

When the king says they will be put into the furnace, he asks, “Who is the god who will deliver you from my hands?” They answer essentially, “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image you have set up.”

Later on, while they are in the fire, bound, those who were viewing it asked if the king had ordered only three men to be cast into the furnace, because as they looked they said, “I see four men loose (remember they were bound), walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.”

When they were released, they had not been touched by the fire. Not one hair had been singed, not one piece of clothing affected; the smell of smoke was not even on them.

God was speaking to me about this story the other day. Many times we pray for the storms and trials of this life not to touch us. We ask to be delivered from hardships and trouble, yet at the same time we pray to see the miracles of God at work in our life. Without trouble, how can we see miracles?

If the Israelites had not been pushed to the edge of the Red Sea without hope, how could the miracle of God splitting it be done? We want the splitting of the Red Sea, without the Egyptians following behind us. We want to see God come through mightily in our lives, without being placed in the furnace. We need to have the attitude of these three, who believe in the deliverance of God, but still say, “But if not…” We often will serve God and walk in faith as long as things are going our way. “I will serve you God, as long as it seems you are on my side.” We need to tell the enemy, “Listen, My God loves me and will deliver me from this storm, BUT IF NOT, I will still serve Him and love Him, because He is my God.” Adopt this attitude, and watch your life change.

With all that said, there was something more that God showed me through this story I had never seen before. Jesus was with them; He joined them in the fire.

With Christmas coming, it is a time we remember the story of Jesus’ birth. And we think of the baby in the manger, with the angels and gifts, and we smile. What we forget is that we are celebrating WHY He came. He didn’t come to just be a baby in a manger, He came to set us free from death and sin. And to do this He had to come wrapped in flesh.

He came in the flesh so that He could be tempted as we are, tried as we are, and troubled as we are. Yet, He did it without sin. He came in the flesh and suffered in the flesh; beaten, bruised, battered, crucified. All so that we could be free.

You see just as Jesus joined Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego in the furnace that day, so He “joined” us in our suffering here on Earth. Without Him, we would remain a people separated from the presence of God. Sick, dead, without hope. Now, because He joined us in the fire of humanity, we are given a hope, a new life, and complete restoration.

While this story can show how in the midst of our trials, God will show His glory, cover us in His presence, and protect us, there is also another beautiful thing. You see, God loved us so much, and was so tired of being separated from His people, He joined us.

In the furnace we set ablaze for ourselves through sin, Jesus stepped in to join in our suffering. As the three left the furnace, remember the fourth never stepped out. The three left completely untouched by the flames that were supposed to kill them. Not one hair singed. No smell of fire.

Just as that, because Jesus came and stood in our place, we can stand without a single hair singed from death and no stench of sin on us any longer. What was meant to kill us and separate us from God forever, Jesus entered into and stood in our place and now we have an Advocate at the throne.

I say all of this because this season, I believe people need to remember three things.

1. Some people need to remember the WHY behind Jesus’ coming. It was not to make you go to church more, to read your bible, or to “do” good things. It was to set you free from sin and death so that you can be one with the Father. If you aren’t one with God, ask Him to be one with you. Ask Him to forgive you and set you free. Ask Him to reign in your life. Religious duties will never stand in the gap for true relationship with God. He didn’t create you for church going, bible reading, and works. He created you for communion with Him. Remember this and be free.

2. Some people need some hope. You have been in a season of nothing but trial and tribulation. Maybe you are still in the midst of it and you are without hope. This is to remind you that we are never without hope in God, because we have a God Who loves us so much He joins us in our suffering. He didn’t leave you to suffer alone, but gladly came down and suffered in your place. Remember His faithfulness and hope in this. Trials end, but His faithfulness remains forever. Where catastrophe and storm has bruised and battered you, remember He is the God Who restores completely. When you come out of this, not one hair will be singed, and no one will be able to smell the fire you have been through. Have hope and expect in Him!

3. Remember they were bound in the fire before Jesus came. If you are bound and do not have the Lord in your life, He can set you free. What man had done to them, God had completely erased. What man had ordained for them, God rewrote their story. If the people in this world have touched your life in such a way that you believe the lie you are forever scarred and cursed to live in chains they have spoken over you, remember this: only God has the power to tell your story. What harm they intended for you, God will turn around for His Glory. You are not stained by your past, but God is the Master Artist Who can make all things new.

I want everyone in this Christmas season, not to rely on the pretty, “baby in a manger” scene. That baby in the manger was the King of everything. That baby was sent to suffer, on our behalf. That baby, after suffering for us, came back and took His seat beside the Father. We are co-heirs with Christ. This means you are no orphan, you are no victim, you are no poor man. You are new in Christ, you are a slave to sin no longer. You do not live in fear. You walk with authority and the power of God! I’m tired of seeing Christians continuing in bondage, when your inheritance is so much more. Accept the freedom due you, and walk in it.

I love you all and remember, happy homemaking! Make that home a powerful place of God’s presence and restoration!

The Anxiety Train and How to be Free

by krichards2012, posted in life

Picture yourself, standing at a train station. It’s crowded, loud, busy, and yet it’s a lonely place. Although many are surrounding you, loneliness still encapsulates you. The train stops and it looks familiar. Although you have taken this train too many times, and dread the course, you still get on, because it’s familiar territory. On the train you go, taking your same old seat, next to the same old people. One’s name is Fear, the other Worry. Across the aisle from you is Doubt, and Doubt’s friend Defeat. You lift your chin to see who is in front of you, and once again Anxiety is dressed in the brightest, most deafening of attire. Depression sits next to him, sulking in the shadows. You turn and look out the window, ready for the trip. Knowing it leads into a darkening spiral that seems to never end. During your trip, your fellow passengers ask you the same questions, “How can you go on living like this,” “Who do you think you are,” and the all covering question, “What if…..”.

 Fear asks you, “What if you die from this? What if you will never be free of this trip?” He looks at Worry who asks, “What if you cannot afford your bills when you get off? I have heard you aren’t quite making enough these days. Not to mention, what if you never lose the baby weight? Surely you are worried if your husband will still find you attractive?” Doubt walks over, interested in the conversation, and asks, “Yeah, what if God never answers your prayer for healing, and what if God does not even hear your prayers? Surely if He heard your prayers you would be off of this ride. What if God does not even love you?” You take a deep breath, ready because Anxiety and Depression walk up. Anxiety says, “What if you always take this trip? What if you never get off this ride? What if you never achieve anything in life?” And Depression adds in, “What if life is not worth the hassle? What if you never find hope for joy again? What if… what if… what if…. “

This ride seems to take a lifetime, and your reserves are emptying. Exhaustion, weakness, loneliness, isolation, hopelessness, darkness. You feel as though there is no end in sight, yet at the same time the end is all you hope for. I have been in that place. I have taken that train ride way too many times. The train stops, and relieved, you get off, hoping to be delivered from the heavy presence of Fear, Worry, Doubt, Anxiety, and Depression. You take a step off the train watching your feet so that you do not stumble and look up. It is the same station you left from. Busy, crowded, lonely. The train leaves and you walk around seeing steps ahead that you aren’t sure where they lead. Behind you arrives the next train, that takes the same route, to the same destination. Will you get on again?

Above is an excerpt from a book I am writing. You see fear and anxiety controlled my life for a very long time. I had automatic returns to fear. When something happened, fear was my companion. When there was unknown, anxiety was my answer. I was so smothered with the never-ending cycle. Until I became free.

You see I read all kinds of stories about people dealing with fear and anxiety. And my heart breaks because there never seems to be any hope present in them. When I was going through it, I couldn’t find anyone to tell me, “I made it through.” And that is what I craved!

I promised that when I made it through, I would tell the world so that they could have hope! It was a slow process, but God freed me from fear and anxiety. It took everyday renewal of my mind; every day taking captive every single thought that came against the knowledge of Christ. Every day making sure I didn’t let a single negative thought go through my mind without telling it to go away and answering it with the truth.

It was a lot of hard work. I wish there had been an easy way out. But it took understanding the roots of my fears, the fruits of my fears, and the answer to my fears. There are 3 things I would tell you to do today if you want to begin freedom towards peace.

1. Understand the Roots

Fear and anxiety are not overnight processes, they are thought patterns and behaviors that take years to form! So it won’t be an overnight process to be free from that way of thinking either. Anxiety is not a character trait; it is a thought process.

So first you have to understand what it is that is causing you anxiety. At first I believed there wasn’t a clear reason, I just felt anxious. But as I continuously listened to triggering thoughts I realized my root of fear was a wrong view of God; I was so afraid to fail Him and that He would punish me if I messed up, that I was afraid to take any steps in life. It wasn’t until I understood this root, that I was able to start my healing process.

2. Understand the Fruits

Roots always grow fruit. Anxiety, depression, and fear are all fruits of something. Whether it’s wrong thinking, believing, trauma, you name it, there is something that has led to your mind believing that anxiety, fear, and depression are it’s answer.

I was in my undergraduate studies, studying abnormal psychology at the height of my anxiety. I was so terrified I was mentally unstable; that because I was dealing with anxiety I was somehow a bad Christian and something was wrong with me. I thought I was broken.

I was not broken but my thinking was broken. Joyce Meyer calls it “Stinking Thinking”. Our brains filter our experiences; what we think, we do and feel. Understanding that my anxiety was a fruit of wrong thinking helped me to know how to fix it.

3. Know the Truth, and You Can be Free

John 8:31-32 says, “If you abide in my Word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Even though I have my degree in psychology and counseling, I actually didn’t go to one counseling session during this time. Not that it is wrong to, it just wasn’t on my path to freedom.

I truly became free through the Word of God. Even when physically looking at the Word gave me fear and anxiety, I still read it. Because I knew that it held Truth and that Truth was my answer.

The day it all clicked was the day I read 1 John 4:18: “There is no fear in love [dread does not exist]. But perfect (complete, full-grown) love drives out fear, because fear involves [the expectation of divine] punishment, so the one who is afraid [of God’s judgement] is not perfected in love [has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love].”

You see, my fear came from expecting punishment from God and not being perfected in His love. When I realized how much He loved me, that He had good plans for me and not plans of destruction, I realized there was nothing to fear. Sounds real easy right? I still battled anxiety after initially reading this scripture, but it gave me my answer. I sought God’s love and Truth, and renewed my mind daily.

If What if showed up with a negative present, I answered it with a positive what if. What if you never get married, it said. I answered with, What if my husband is waiting on me tomorrow. What if you are never free of anxiety? What if my God delivers me and uses my story to heal others!

Your mind is a battlefield so don’t allow it to flippantly think and feel whatever without realizing that it is going to affect you.

So I hope that this testimony brings you hope. That it lets you know freedom is available to you!

Marriage Hurts but Marriage Heals

by krichards2012, posted in life

Marriage is the most difficult and beautiful thing I have ever experienced. Both hard and easy at the same time. Sounds impossible right? But it’s true. I find marriage both as natural as breathing and as difficult as rock climbing rope free up a 750 foot mountain (that escalated quickly).

Marriage, how I understand it, is the unification of spirit and flesh; two spirits and flesh becoming one. That’s why in the flesh marriage hurts; and in the spirit, your marriage can heal.

My husband and I just recently went through one of those “fun” growing times together. Personal struggles and relational struggles came together to a pinpoint which led to a perfect storm of tension and conflict.

The hurts of marriage come when one flesh fights against itself, injuring the other part as if it were somehow separate. Harsh words, wrong thoughts, selfish actions, all of these come against the flesh of your marriage and attempt division and anger.

Satan is against your marriage from the start, I hope you know that. That’s not to cause fear or trepidation, but it is to cause you to be on alert and stop treating your marriage so trivially. He wants to divide and conquer; divide the marriage, conquer the family. And all we have to do is look at divorce rates to know that he is somewhat succeeding.

I believe it’s because so often we live in the hurt factor of marriage without ever touching the healing portion. We allow the fleshy part to rule over the spiritual and then wonder why our “godly” marriage pictures that of the world.

We got to the pinpoint and realized that it was time to fight back. We put the baby to bed, came together and battled in prayer. We asked for forgiveness from one another, we confessed our sins to one another, and we reminded one another of our vows and love.

And although there had been hurt, surrending the fleshy part of our marriage to God, allowed for His hand to come in and bring about the most beautiful healing my spirit has ever felt.

Tears, smiles, kisses, and redemption all met together there in complete surrender. It was a glorious moment in our marriage I know we will remember forever. All it took was surrender; surrender of pride, surrender of bitterness, surrender of expectations. All of it, tossed into the hands of the One Who carries us.

I say all of this to bring hope to the broken marriage or the single person afraid of taking that step into marriage.

Amidst a world that only highlights the brokenness of such a holy covenant, there is another side of complete restoration and redemption that is available as well.

I’m not here to say my marriage is perfect and we are doing everything right (obviously). What I am saying is after a week of trying to do it all on our own and in the flesh, we found it was so much more beautiful to hand it over to the Father.

So take that step of surrender. Confess your sins against your spouse, whether that’s bitterness, anger, unfaithfulness. Request forgiveness and make sure to forgive. Remember why you chose marriage and love and continue in it. And let God do His beautiful work in your lives.

Happy homemaking is about making your home happy and holy. And a strong marriage will do the trick! Love you guys!

Be Still, Don’t Feel

by krichards2012, posted in life

I love the movie Frozen, and I cannot wait to have a daughter who will enjoy singing along to it with me! One of the lines in the oh so famous song, “Let it Go” says, “be still, don’t feel” and now you’re singing it in your head. You’re welcome.

With Disney plus out, I have been binging on Disney movies and watched Frozen this week. And this line has stuck in my mind. Not because this is the most catchy song ever, but because God spoke the same thing to my heart. Be still. Don’t feel.

Now you may be thinking, wait, God told you not to feel? And you would be exactly right. But God gives us feelings and emotions? Why would He tell you not to feel?

Because our feelings are a part of our soul that needs redeeming and sanctification every day, the things I feel may not always be from God. Sometimes I have to weigh what I am feeling next to the Word of God in order to know what is of Him and what is of myself.

This past month has been tough for me spiritually, personally, and mentally. God has been pruning me of myself, taking away selfishness, impatience, anger, and so many other things (why are we so messed up???). It can get very overwhelming in these seasons because it feels like no matter where you turn, you are being shown another bad part of yourself, and it really starts to weigh on you. You question everything about yourself, trying to do everything in your own power to fix yourself.

But I believe that is the hardest lesson in the midst of all of this; learning to be still and let God fix me. Letting Him finally be God over my life instead of me attempting to maintain control ALL. THE. TIME.

Now on to feeling. In the realness and vulnerability I promised to have on this blog, I had some rough feelings this week. With my selfish nature and impatience coming to the surface, you can only imagine tensions between my husband and I have been at an all time high. And because I have been so fleshy, I have not relied on the Spirit’s guidance but rather myself. So that has led to me overthinking, over reacting, and feeling/thinking up a false narrative about my husband, all because I did not choose to surrender my flesh to the leading of the Spirit.

So what starts as a small misunderstanding grows into feelings of division, separateness, bitterness, and anger. All because when a thought and feeling appeared that was contrary to truth, I decided to hang on to it rather than get rid of that garbage. And it continued. And continued. And days later I am literally a dumpster of feelings and emotions. An emotional wreck.

I was so anxious and in so much turmoil that I finally in my stubbornness decided to turn to God and hear what He had to say (should have done this sooner). And He tells me one line, “Be still. Don’t feel.”

1. Be Still. I needed to still myself in Him; rely myself completely in Him, and let Him speak truth to my mind. I needed to allow the Spirit to reveal my messiness so that it could be healed, rather than rely on a broken mind to filter my experiences through. Had I done this sooner, I would have realized that what I am going through is called purification and I need to lean on Him harder than ever before.

“Be still and know (recognize, understand) that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

“The Lord will fight for you while you [only need to] be still [keep silent and remain calm].” Exodus 14:14

It’s time we actually start practicing what we claim all the time. If we claim that God is Lord of our life yet continue to disallow Him to reign, are we hypocrites? I know I haven’t been surrendering like I should, and that needs to change if I want to live in the Spirit and not the flesh.

2. Don’t Feel. Feelings, although real, are not always true. Your feelings only have as much merit as they align with the Word of God. If they speak anything contrary, then it is a lie, and needs to be made obedient to Christ.

“We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Thoughts and feelings not aligned with the Word of God destroy our lives. My feelings this week, had I continued in them, could have destroyed my marriage. My feelings could have broken a family apart. Feelings and thoughts are serious matters, and that’s why we are told to take captive every single thought. Those feelings that I was having were allowed because of pride, selfishness, and bitterness.

So I leave you with some wisdom God gave me this week. Stop feeling and thinking toxic things you were never meant to carry. We have the minds of Christ, and are given specific guidelines on what we should be thinking about and letting in our minds. If it’s contrary, make it obedient!

“Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].” Philippians 4:8

Just a simple switch of my feelings and thoughts from lies to truth led to one of the most redemptive, healing, and merciful moments I have ever had with my husband. A moment of God’s pure peace, grace, and restoration in our marriage. No it wasn’t a BIG problem; but taking our small issues and handing them to God protects our marriage from big cracks in the foundation. So there is no problem too little to take seriously in your marriage.

I urge you to watch your feelings and thoughts. Don’t let unredeemed, broken things tell you how to live, react, and carry out your life. Let God be the one Who reigns even over your hearts, minds, and emotions.

I love you all and hope that through some of my hard lessons you can learn to be still and don’t feel every feelings and thought thrown at you from the enemy.

Happy homemaking! Go make your home a place where God reigns!

#Momfail: They All Fall Down

by krichards2012, posted in life

Can I just be honest and vulnerable here? This week has felt like a non-stop strand of mom fails. Non-stop.

Have you ever just messed up so many times you just feel like stopping? Or running away? Or just crying? Or maybe all of the above? That’s been me this week.

So John has been accelerating in movement. I’m talking crawling, pulling up on furniture, moving from item to item, trying to LITERALLY JUMP OFF OF STUFF. I’m pretty persuaded he wants to injure himself.

It’s one thing if babies hurt themselves when you’re not watching, but to have them hurt themself everyday when you’re just two steps away is pretty frustrating.

Let me let you in on this week. He fell off the bed, he hit his eye on the dresser knob (don’t ask me how), he’s fallen from holding on to the table about 15 times, slipped in the bathtub and got water in his face, and the list goes on and on.

It has really made me question my ability as a mother this week. I am sucking it up real bad at the moming. I know all babies fall down, especially when learning to move their little bodies, but at the same time you can’t help but blame yourself when it happens and you can’t stop it!

In all honesty its just been a really hard week for me in general. As a mother and wife I’ve been going and growing through some things. I have felt like no matter how hard I try, I end up failing. I’ve been studying the fruits of the Spirit and ironically feel like I’ve done nothing but walked in the flesh this week. Impatience, anger, frustration. Just falling on my face, over and over.

And as I write this, maybe that’s the whole lesson for me this week? Maybe God is wanting me to realize, like babies, we all fall down. But scripture says the righteous man falls seven times but gets back up.

So, if you’re a mama who has failed this week? Get back up. If you’re a wife who has been naggy a little too much, get back up. If you’ve complained instead of being thankful, cursed instead of blessing, or have really done a bad job at portraying Christ, my answer is this: get back up.

Keep pursuing holiness and not perfection. Keep pursuing His strength and not your own. Keep leaning all of yourself on Him completely.

Paul says that he boasts in his weakness, because where we are weak, God is strong! (2 Corinthians 12:9)

God’s grace is sufficient for you AND your clumsy little baby.

I love you guys! Happy homemaking!

He Owes You Nothing

by krichards2012, posted in life

I had to repent this week for something I never thought I would have to. “Forgive me God, for thinking and acting like you owe me something.”

You see up to this point, I had been walking around with an attitude towards God. Because He hadn’t healed me yet , I was angry. Because I had been hurt by His “church”, I wasn’t going to serve again. Because He “let” me have a miscarriage, I could be mad and bitter. Because I have been through suffering, You owe me something.

I had been walking unknowingly with these attitudes that led me to walking around with no joy, no peace, constant frustration and tension. I was rocking John to sleep one night and was hit with an overwhelming feeling of homesickness for the Lord.

And all of these angers and attitudes towards Him came forward and I started bawling. All I could muster in the midst of tears was, “I’m sorry.”

I realized I was holding things against God; things I thought He owed me. He owes me healing because I believe in healing. He owes me blessing because I believe in His promises. He owes me this because I was hurt by that. The list goes on and on.

And I realized in that moment one important thing. GOD DOES NOT OWE YOU OR ME ANYTHING. He didn’t even owe me salvation!

Yet He did it, because He loves me. He didn’t have to give me life, but He did. He didn’t HAVE to deliver me from anxiety, but He did. He didn’t have to bless me with my husband and baby John, but He did. Because He’s a good Father Who likes to give good gifts to His children. (Matthew 7:11)

Walking around with an attitude like He owes me something led me to hurt and bitterness. It halted His hand from working in my life; it stopped me from growing deeper in Him. Did He stop loving me? No. He was there always pointing me forward with love and longsuffering.

I say all of this to remind all of us, that if the only thing God ever does for you is save you from your sin, IT’S ENOUGH. He does not owe you anything else. It’s time we change our attitudes, humble ourselves, and live and walk in an attitude of thankfulness. God does way more good for you than you deserve.

So chin up, knees down, and repent for wrong attitudes and motives. Thank God for His blessings. Thank God for loving you and being merciful and gracious even when we have bad attitudes. And bask in His love and mercy and grace.

I leave you with this.

“Not that I speak from [any personal] need, for I have learned to be content [and self-sufficient through Christ, satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or uneasy] regardless of my circumstances. I know how to get along and live humbly [in difficult times], and I also know how to enjoy abundance and live in prosperity. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret [of facing life], whether well-fed or going hungry, whether having an abundance or being in need. I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]”
Philippians 4:11-13

Happy Homemaking!

Eat when you’re hungry, not when you’re starving.

by krichards2012, posted in life

Jesus answered, ‘It is written: Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

Matthew 4:4

What I am sharing is a personal revelation God gave me today but I believe it may help someone. I’ll start from the beginning.

Lately I have been feeling extremely frustrated. Everything has gotten on my nerves; my husband’s breathing, my baby constantly crying when I’m trying to put eye ointment on him.. even my own self has been frustrating (I broke a favorite ornament last night because my hands were shaky).

I just have felt at my limit. With everything. Like a car hanging on the edge of a cliff, and with one leaf it will crash to the bottom with a loud BANG.

This morning was no different. We woke up, had coffee, I was irritated. Trying to feed John who enjoyed 15 spoonfulls of oatmeal and then the 16th one he acted like it was disgusting, spitting it out so it went everywhere. My breakfast getting cold as usual; my hot coffee being enjoyed lukewarm, as usual. I stood up, yelled at him, yelled at my husband, stormed out of the room.

My husband followed me, and it irritated me of course. I yelled, “Why are you following me???” He calmly takes the baby, and says, “Go pray.” Everything in my flesh wanted to smack him. I don’t want to pray. I don’t want to change. I want to be irritated! “Go pray.” He said again.

I reluctantly stomped upstairs to my office and knelt down. As soon as I hit the floor I began to weep. Weariness, frustration, weakness… all came down and hit like a big wave. But the last thing that hit was STARVATION.

My husband and I have been watching a new TV series we found called “Alone”. Professional survivalists compete to see who can survive the longest in hard terrain. We were watching one of the men and you could clearly see that he had let himself starve almost to death. What was astounding was he was sitting on a mound of food! He had been saving fish for the season when he knew the fish would be lacking, but while saving for a season of lack, he was letting himself starve! He got so hungry he decided to try and shoot an animal with his bow. But he had starved himself so long, he couldn’t even pull back the bow and have a weapon. So he crawled back in his shelter, and STILL didn’t eat.

God spoke so clearly to me as I called out to Him, asking, “Why am I so frustrated? Why do I feel so weak?” He said, “You’re starving.”

I realized I hadn’t read my Word or spent some sweet time with Him all week (excuses of busy schedule entailed). And He brought to my memory the man on the show. I was the man. Starving, weak, without a weapon.

I have the Word at my fingertips every single day. Food for my spirit. But sometimes we treat that food as the man treated the fish. We save it for a rainy day; when we are struggling, sad, fearful. But instead of eating when we are simply hungry, we wait until we are starving! And we risk damage to our spirits!

The man had to leave the show because his body was at risk for organ failure. And he cried to the cameraman, “But I have food…” tears running down his face, “I have so much food”. And I cried back, “But you’re starving! You can have food all day, but if you don’t eat it, it doesn’t help!”

I cried as I knelt on the floor in my office. I have food, but I haven’t eaten, and now I am starving.

I am tired of letting my spirit go so long without food, that I end up in starvation mode. Angry, weak, frustrated; yelling at my loved ones, yelling at myself, thinking my life isn’t good, or blessed. When we let ourselves starve spiritually, our flesh grows stronger. It’s opposite of starvation in reality. As our spirits weaken, our flesh strengthens, and we become a puppet to a nature we are free from.

This man had so much fish; and was skipping meals in order to save it for later. If he would have eaten when he was hungry, he would have never been starving.

Let us eat, everyday, as we do with food. Knowing it’s time to eat, we eat. We don’t wait until our bones cry out in starvation, we eat because we know we need it! Why don’t we do the same with our spirits? We know we need His Word to strengthen us, cleanse us, guide us, uplift us, yet we wait until we are starving to go to it!

So as I sit convicted today, by a gracious God Who softly pointed out my weak spots, I am realizing that I have been starving myself, and sitting on a stock pile of food. It’s time we go to our Words, feed ourselves, so we can feed others.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”

matthew 5:6

The Power of a Lie: Being Free of Mom Guilt

by krichards2012, posted in life

God doesn’t bless perfect parenting, it does not exist. He blesses humble parenting, a recognition that without Him, it cannot be done.

baby and me

If there were a person you knew, who could only tell lies, how often would you listen to what they had to say? What we believe in our minds, regardless or not if they are true, become our reality. Scripture tells us that Satan is the father of all lies (John 8:44). Yet, we continue to allow him to have territory in our minds, which if you are saved, belong to Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16).

An elephant who is being trained in a circus, can be held down by a tiny nail in the ground, because it believes the lie that it cannot break free. There are many lies that we believe that the enemy tells us. And I feel a certain need to expose these lies, especially the lies we women and mothers hear, so that we can begin to walk in the freedom that God intended us to.

So I am beginning a small series (of which I do not know the length) talking about the power of a lie. Each post will be another lie exposed so that freedom can be had!

Today’s post is on a lie that I have been personally battling this week in particular; mom guilt. This lie often shows it’s ugly head in phrases such as: “If you rest or take time to yourself, you’re a bad mom; good moms don’t need a break”, “You’re not doing good enough, your baby should be doing what the others are doing right now”, “If you go to work your baby will miss you and will grow up with issues”, “If you don’t work you won’t be able to provide everything that your baby needs so you’re a bad mom”, “You shouldn’t be taking time to start a blog, you need to be taking care of your baby”, “Your husband is going to resent you if he has to help out more than usual”…. and the lies go on and on.

No one prepared me for mom guilt. I had heard about it prior to becoming a mom but I didn’t think I would have an issue with it. What was so crazy about it is mom guilt started before John even was born! I remember working (before I knew I would get to stay home with him) and feeling guilty that John would be at his grandmother’s homes all day. I remember pre-counting the amount of time I would have with him and even crying about it to my husband (who probably thought I was crazy).

“Raising him is my job, I should be the one seeing his first crawl, first steps, first laugh…” Even before I held him in my arms, I believed the lie regarding mom guilt, which is essentially this: the responsibility of your child is yours alone so you better be perfect or else. 

Now this isn’t to disregard the common sense notion that parents are responsible for raising their children. This is a deeper thought that puts an unbearable amount of pressure and weariness on the mother’s shoulders to be everything and do everything all the time for everybody.

The reality of this lie this week has shown itself in when I have spent time to write a blog or prepare for an activity. I look in the other room where my husband is feeding and playing with John and I am doing something for myself and then BAM… guilt hits. You are selfish, you are wasting precious time, you shouldn’t be doing this, he needs you… it bombarded my mind this week, almost to the point of leading me to stop doing something I feel like God called me to.

Finally, I chose to be still. To listen to what God had to say. And this is what He said.

“Katie, you are not enough. You in yourself will never be enough. Not for Tyler, not for John, not even for yourself.  But in Me, you are enough. I called you and created you to be John’s mama. I called you and created you to do the things I am calling you to do for Me. And in Me, you CAN do both. Trust Me with your marriage. Trust Me with your children. Trust Me with your ministry. Stop allowing guilt to take away the joy of the present moment. Release your husband, children, and ministry to Me, and let Me bear your burdens. If you mess up, then you don’t have to worry, because you have given them into My hands.”

And I finally felt peace because I realized up to this point I had been trying to carry the burdens of things that He had called me to release back to Him. If I try to carry the pressure of making sure all things are perfect, or taking care of, by ME in my home, then I have set myself up for a load that will crush me. I set my mind up for guilt, fear, anxiety, shame, depression.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest {renewal and blessed quiet] for your souls. My yoke is easy [to bear] and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.

The lie essentially is this: you are not enough of a mother for them. The truth is this: in Him, you are enough because HE is enough.

As we break down some of these lies in our lives, which will break down the false power they have on us, we will come to know an essential truth. This truth is that not every thought that comes into your mind is yours; which means you don’t have to keep it.

Let us renew our minds daily, cast every thought that comes against Christ down, and make every thought obedient to Christ. (Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 10:5)

Today let us focus on releasing mom guilt to God. Release that pressure you have put on yourself to be perfect. And trust that God can guide you every day to raise those babies right. And when you have a bad day (which you will), trust that God has your family in His hands and enjoy the abundant blessing of family that He has given you.

So I don’t know about you, but I am tired of carrying guilt that isn’t mine to carry. I want to boldly walk before my children, showing them a woman of God who will do what He says regardless of comfort or attack, and serve Him mightily with boldness and authority.

So join me in releasing the power of the lie of mom guilt and be free!

Happy Homemaking and may God bless you and your families abundantly with grace, mercy, and love!

 

 

(Our Not so) Happy Halloween: Letting Go of Expectations

by krichards2012, posted in life
What a happy family….. you think!

So I promised to be real and share the good, the bad, and the ugly. So I will be sharing my Halloween story. This picture looks like a cute little family, in their cute little costumes, all happy and put together. What you don’t see is a mama on her brink of psychosis, a husband who has heard her griping all day being forced to wear blush, and a baby who is STILL teething and actually not crying for two seconds (or ripping off his hat). 


As mamas, wives, humans in general, sometimes we have these expectations about the way things should go. Our marriages should be chalk full of romance all the time, our children should always be clean and happy, and most of all, our holidays should be smooth experiences full of laughter, smiles, and cute babies who willingly wear costumes and cooperate. Having these expectations isn’t necessarily a wrong thing, but what you will notice if you haven’t already, they lead to a big stumbling block: disappointment. 

Yesterday was quite disappointing at first; I won’t lie. I had all of these dreams and visions about John’s first Halloween going so well and being full of the best memories. My Halloween can be summed up in the following ways: last minute wardrobe malfunctions (literally sewing a new costume for John because Amazon sent me a 2T), a crying baby who would NOT cooperate because of teething, my skirt tearing as I try to pick up the crying baby, and just a general sense of chaos to be honest. 


For a moment I told Tyler, “You know what, let’s just stay home. I don’t want to do this anymore!” Luckily I have a husband who can keep his cool in the midst of chaos (thank God) who didn’t let my spoiled outburst ruin the day completely. 


See I almost let expectations take a memory away from us. Whether the memory is perfect or perfectly messy, it is still a memory that is precious to our home! Without the chaos and crying baby (who cried the whole time in the car by the way), I wouldn’t have the perfect moment captured in my head when I glanced over at my gnome-dressed husband in the car, him looking back, and us simply smiling at each other at the humor of the moment. 


I say all of this to say, once I let go of expectations I actually enjoyed the rest of the night. I got to enjoy popcorn, watch Hocus Pocus, and relax a little. It’s okay for us to begin letting go of expectations. Those we have of God, our spouses, our children, even of ourselves. It is okay to let life unfold the way it is and simply enjoy the moments we have! God is clear on what expectations we should have, which is expectations of His goodness to us (Philippians 1:20; Psalm 5:3).


Disappointment in collapsed expectations give us a false sense that our life is not good; and this is not true. If you have your family together, full bellies, and a roof over your head, your life is good! We have to take the pressure off of ourselves of life having to be so put together and perfect, and let life happen as humor-filled and unperfect as it wishes. So I leave you with two things: the Word of God and pictures of my Halloween reality to encourage you if your day didn’t go as planned. Happy Halloween and happy homemaking! 


“We wait [expectantly] for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For in Him our heart rejoices, because we trust [lean on, rely on, and are confident] in His holy name. Let Your [steadfast] lovingkindness, O Lord, be upon us, in proportion as we have hoped in You.” Psalm 33:20-22 AMP

Reality